Lately, I have been thinking a lot about why I am a stay at home mom (see previous post). There are all these reasons floating around like daycare is horrible/for mom’s who don’t want to take care of their kids, it’s what I (as a woman) am supposed to do, yada yada yada. There are just as many reasons to NOT be a stay at home mom – less money, low self-esteem, divorce. It’s tiring hearing people explain their decisions.
The truth, for me at least, is that this is where I am supposed to be. Not because we can afford it. Not because my husband travels for work. Not because I am a woman. I am a stay at home mom because it is what is best for MY family.
That being said, as women, we cannot win this argument between being a working mom and a stay at home mom. If we decide to work, we are neglecting our kids. If we stay home, we aren’t living up to our potential or contributing to society. No matter what we decide, we will suffer the never-ending “mom-shaming”.
For some reason we are told that we need to do it all. We need to take of the children, our husbands, our homes. We need to work and bring home the proverbial bacon. We need to craft. We need to do volunteer work. We need to teach our kids. And we need to look good doing it. If we fail at one of these, we feel like we are failing at life. It is so easy to get wrapped up in any one of these things and look to them to find our identities. If we lose it, we lose our identities and we feel lost. Even if others aren’t “mom-shaming” us, we begin to shame ourselves.
The only way I’m able to get around this, is to remember that my identity is not in being a mom. It is not in being a teacher, or a wife, or even as a woman. My identity is in Christ. I have to remind myself of this daily because it is oh so easy to be blinded by everyday life. This truth takes away so many of these burdens! I want to challenge all the mommies out there reading this (and MYSELF) not to let those thoughts of self-doubt and shame creep in. And almost just as importantly, don’t let those feelings of doubt be directed at other mommies. Whatever type of moms we are, we are doing GREAT work!
Things I NEED to do:
- Unpack my clothes from our vacation a few weeks ago
- Put latches on all the cabinets so Lucy doesn’t pull all the dishes on to the floor
- Meal plan
- Organize the office
- Clean the bathrooms
- Do laundry
- Make baby food
- Do the dishes
- Blog more…yes I know I am awful at this
But thanks so this child (and my hubby being out-of-town)…
Lucy Does Not Want Eggs
*Note: She cried for about 30 minutes following this video*
…all I WANT to do is:
- Sit on my butt
- Socialize with adults who don’t whine
- Drink bourbon. This feels more like a need at the moment.
P.S. I PROMISE to post pics from the beach and Lucy’s 1st birthday party soon 🙂
I like bourbon. I’m not really friends with people who don’t like bourbon. I drink it mixed with sodas, specifically ginger beer. I drink it with ice, whiskey stones, or neat. When looking at the drink menu at restaurants, you can bet I will order a bourbon cocktail. Well, I used to.
Being pregnant did a number on my body. I gained over 50 pounds. Granted, much of that was water weight because of my preeclampsia, but still. That’s a lot of poundage! Until recently, I’ve been telling myself that I will lose the weight. I didn’t really have a plan. I certainly wasn’t dieting. I ABHOR exercising. So I was really just waiting for a miracle. It never came. I went to my annual gyno appointment a few weeks ago, stepped on the scale and silently screamed and cried. Ugh.
I came home, and told my husband that it was time to make a change. We needed to start taking care of ourselves. We were going on a diet. The only diet I’ve ever really successfully done was the South Beach Diet. My parents did it when I was home from college one summer, and I finally lost that Freshman 15…or Sophomore 30…whatever. So that’s what we decided to do. If you aren’t familiar with the diet, its low carb. That means no booze. BOOO! Specifically, the cookbook says no…wait for it…WHISKEY. We are now into phase 2, so we can have the occasional glass of wine, but that is no substitute after a long day of poopie diapers. It doesn’t help that my husband, the day before we started our diet bought an ass ton of whiskey and it is sitting in our glass cabinet in our kitchen. Staring at me. Whispering, “You know you want some…just a little bit won’t kill you.”
Fortunately, I have had some success over the last 2.5 weeks. I’ve even been working out…gross. That is the only thing keeping me motivated. That, and an impending trip to the beach in July. So for now, no bourbon. No beer. No fancy cocktails. An occasional glass of wine will have to sustain me. If I had to wear a bathing suit now, I would feel very bad for the other beach dwellers. So this is really for them. A truly selfless act. But mark my words. As soon as I get to my goal weight, or as soon as I can wait no longer, I will be reopening that bottle of Bulleit and having my fill.