Feeding Frustrations

Today for lunch I made Lucy some chicken sausage, sweet potatoes, and cheese toast. I had leftover chicken and spaghetti squash. She decided she only wanted MY food. All other food ended up on the floor.

So I heated up some more chicken for her. She wouldn’t eat it unless it came out of my bowl. Eventually that didn’t even work! I’m just assuming she isn’t hungry, and her bottle at nap time will be enough nutrition for her.

Ugh.

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Lucy’s Top 5 Toys

#5: Books

Lucy just loves to read! She loves all books, but her favorite is Goodnight Gorilla. I have to hide it in her room because if she sees it, she points to it and has to have it. What can I say? She is a little genius!
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#4: Grocery Bags

Lucy loves to help me put the groceries away!

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#3: Balloons

She really didn’t know what to do with it…but isn’t she cute?

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#2: Beer Growlers

They roll, they make a pretty sweet noise on the tile floor, and only a little left over beer spills out!

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AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…

#1: Backyard Inflatable Pool

Obviously, Lucy loves it!

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**Disclaimer: I do not actually let my child play with plastic bags or drink beer. The pictures are meant to be funny, and were taken while I was learning what to baby-proof now that Lucy is crawling. Please do not leave hateful comments.**

**This is a No Judgement Mommy Blog!**

Shattered Phones, Zoloft, and the Grinch

So I’ve been MIA for a while…sorry. We have had a bunch of family in town, and honestly I was struggling with what to share. I knew I wanted to get a little open and honest and wasn’t sure how to go about it. So I’m just going to rip the band-aid off. Here we go!

I think I’ve mentioned before that my husband Eric travels for work. In fact, he was gone almost every week of our first year of marriage. When it was just two of us, it was hard, but since I’ve always been a little introverted, it was manageable.

As Eric and I started talking about having kids, he was worried about the traveling and missing out. Honestly, the thought of him not being around hadn’t even crossed my mind. I knew he would be a great dad. As a result, he requested a local project  to guarantee he would be home, at least right after Lucy was born. Well…that lasted about 1 month.

On top of postpartum hormones, single parenting was, and is, pretty awful. I really don’t know how people do it. At first, it wasn’t so bad. But it seemed like with every trip, things got a little worse. Right around 3 months, Lucy decided to stop napping. In order to get her to sleep, I would literally have to rock her for hours. As soon as I would lay her down she would start screaming. The sound would ring in my ears and was actually PAINFUL. I got to the point where I would cry almost every night (followed by drinking a beer).

Don't be fooled...she was screaming like a banshee before and after this picture.

Don’t be fooled…she was screaming like a banshee before and after this picture.

Things really got real a few months ago. Lucy started screaming around 10pm and kept going until 2am. No fever, not hungry, clean diaper. Just screaming. Eventually, so was I. I was screaming, bawling, praying, cussing…you name it. Then I lost my mind. I threw my phone against the wall and shattered it. Luckily I was able to call Eric on my iPad and he calmed me down. I was too scared to go back into Lucy’s room after that. I was so…angry. At her for screaming. At myself for not knowing how to make her stop. At Eric for not being there. Then the shame set in. I felt like such a failure. People take care of screaming babies all the time. Why couldn’t I handle it? I self-diagnosed myself with postpartum depression, and decided that I needed some help.

After seeing a women’s psychologist, I was not technically diagnosed with postpartum depression…just my own deeply seeded issues coming to the surface. Perfect timing, right? Now I’m seeing a therapist and taking Zoloft. I can’t tell you how much better I have been feeling. Eric has been home more, Lucy has been sleeping like a champ, and I feel more in control of myself. I still have my moments, but I’m learning how to control my emotions.

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Me and Lucy at the therapist 🙂

As I’ve gone through all this, and continue going through it all, I found other moms who have gone through similar things and I have learned a few nuggets of truth.

  1. Being a mom is excruciatingly lonely and isolating.  I have to be intentional about getting out of the house and having adult interactions.
  2. A screaming baby is NOT a sign of failure.
  3. Other moms are willing to help a sister out. They get it.
  4. Our children learn how to control their emotions from us. So I need to take care of myself to be the best mom to Lucy.
  5. It OK to let Lucy cry, so that I can breathe.

I know this is not the end of this part of my journey. Eric has started traveling again. Lucy is going to grow and her needs will change. It will not get easier…just different. But I love that girl with all my heart. When I think of her, I feel like the Grinch when his heart grows three sizes, and I’m not sure it will fit inside my chest any more. I need to take care of me so that I can take care of her.

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Baby Food Day!

Last week, I got some Little Green Pouches and so far I am loving them. I had a bit of purée in the freezer so we tried them out over the weekend, and they were successful! As a result, I’ve wanted to make a few more puree so I can use these when I go out to eat, when Lucy goes to school, etc. But I’ve also been wanting to get a little more creative with my baby food.

Lucy’s daily diet pretty much consists of turkey/chicken, berries, steamed carrots, and cheese. Sometimes I mix up the fruits/veggies, throw in an avocado, or add yogurt to her fruit. She is mostly self feeding, but she can’t eat a lot of healthy veggies because they are still too crunchy. I’ve wanted to introduce a few more things, so today was the day!

Who made that huge mess in the kitchen?!?

Who made that huge mess in the kitchen?!?

I made 3 types of food already, and in the process of making 1 more (the most adventurous one). Here is what we have so far:

Bananas & Spinach:

  • 3 bananas
  • about half a bag of raw spinach
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • splash of water

Add ingredients to blender and purée. Easy peasy. Tastes just like bananas and the texture is really smooth and creamy.

Spinach & Bananas ready for freezing

Spinach & Bananas ready for freezing

Mixed Fruit & Kale:

  • 1 bag frozen mixed fruit – thawed with juice
  • 1 cup of raw kale leaves – do not use the stalks or your blender will hate you.

Add ingredients to blender and purée. It takes a bit of time to purée the kale. Tastes a little green, but still sweet and fruity. I might add bananas next time to make it a little smoother.

Mixed Fruit & Yogurt:

  • 1 bag frozen mixed fruit – thawed with juice
  • about 1 cup non-fat Greek yogurt

Add ingredients to blender and puree. Its a baby smoothy…that I may drink some of!

Left - Mixed Fruit & KaleRight - Mixed Fruit & Yogurt

Left – Mixed Fruit & Kale
Right – Mixed Fruit & Yogurt

Here is my adventurous recipe that I will be trying. I found it on Weelicious and it looks pretty good. I will eat it if Lucy doesn’t.

Sweet Potato Coconut Puree

  • 2 medium yams, washed
  • 1/3 cup coconut milk (full fat or light)
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon (I might leave this out for now)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Poke several holes in the sweet potatoes with a fork. Bake for an hour (I put them on a piece of tin foil so they don’t drip all over the oven). When sweet potatoes are cool to the touch peel off the skin and scoop insides into a food processor with remaining ingredients. Puree until smooth. Cool and serve.

I have the sweet potatoes in the oven now. I will let you know how it turns out!

Now I just have to wait for Eric to get home and clean up my mess in the kitchen 🙂

Aside

I’ve learned a few things over the past few weeks:

1. Pierced-belly-button-scar-from-college post pregnancy = gross

2. Pierced-belly-button-scar-from-college post pregnancy AND squeezed in to pre-pregnancy jeans = REALLY gross

3. Lucy’s tummy doesn’t like eggs.

4. I can only wear my grey skinny pants for so long. As a result, I unbuttoned them while at the Braves game last night. (no one noticed, so that makes it OK)

 

Stay At Home Mom Tips

Over the last 8 months, I’ve realized that I can’t do it all. I can’t keep my house spotless, make baby food, nurse Lucy, make dinner for me and Eric, give Marty all the attention he needs, do the laundry, put the laundry away, go to the grocery store, be a good friend/daughter/wife, etc. So I’ve found some short cuts 🙂

1. Straighten up the living room, then light a laundry scented candle. The house will smell like you’ve cleaned ALL DAY.

2. Designate (at least) one room that will always have the door closed. That room is our office. Also since our bedrooms are upstairs, we don’t invite people to go upstairs.

3. Put your hubby to work. If you have a husband like mine, he wants to help you. Just ask.

4. Let your friends help. They can cuddle with the dog. They can bring you dinner. They can watch your baby. Just ask.

5. As women, we were created to multitask. We are convinced that we are supposed to do all of those thing listed above in order to be a good mom/wife/woman. The only problem with that is, if your attention is everywhere, its really no where. Choose one task and focus on it. Give your peanut all of your attention. When its time to clean, take advantage of nap times and do it right. When its date night, talk to your husband. Otherwise we are only half-assing our lives.

6. The Roomba was one of the greatest inventions ever. Press a button and dog hair be gone!

7. Get a large laundry basket. It will hold more laundry (clean or dirty) while you wait to wash it or put it away.

8. Start introducing flavors that you eat to your baby. The sooner she can eat what you eat, the fewer meals you have to fix. For example, Lucy LOVES guacamole!

9. Tailor your meals to things your baby can eat too (meats, veggies, fruits, grains). You will be healthier and there will be less work to do.

10. Turn your back to the mess. Its not a big deal in grand scheme of things. Instead go for a walk with your family. Sit and relax. Listen to your little one laugh. Those are the important things.

Have you discovered any other short cuts? Please share!

Date Night!

I apologize for the lack in posts. WordPress was posting blank posts for some reason. Hopefully the issue has been resolved!

Last night Eric and I got a babysitter and went to a new (to us) restaurant here in Atlanta.

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Gato Arigato in Candler Park is only open for dinner on Monday & Tuesday nights. The rest of the week it is a breakfast and lunch place, and it serves brunch on the weekends. We have been hearing great things from both friends and media about this place, so we decided we needed to make a point and get there and try the food.

 

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It was SO good! We cheated a bit on our diet (dumplings, rice cakes, ramen) but I do not regret it. Something I’ve learned over the past few years, and even more so over the last 8 months, is sometimes you need to give yourself a break. You need a date night. You need some carbs. Otherwise, you won’t survive.

One thing I think Eric and I have done well since Lucy has been born, is make sure we get out of the house. Luckily we have some great family that is willing to travel to see us/babysit pretty often, some great friends that host game nights in our living room while we go out, and we have found a few great sitters. Parenting is definitely a team sport, and every once in a while you need to regroup, without the little one! Even if it is just a cup of coffee or watching your weekly shows together (Breaking Bad, The Americans, HIMYM, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead…we watch a lot of TV), we need a break! Here are some of our recent dates:

  • Dinners at local restaurants
  • Cocktails/coffee after baby is asleep
  • Movies while friends babysit/play games while Lucy sleeps
  • Concerts (We are doing this Friday – Eric wants to see his fave band of all time, Five Iron Frenzy)
  • Festivals, beer and otherwise
  • Stay at home – make a special dinner, turn the TV off and pretend you are in a fancy restaurant. Dates don’t need to be fancy or expensive.

If you have any other creative date night ideas, please share them in the comments. I’m sure there are a bunch of mommies out there, including me, that would love for a few ideas!

 

Mother’s Day Out!

Every Friday Lucy goes to a Mother’s Day Out program from 9 -1. This is the best $100/month I could spend! I get to run errands, go to lunch with my best friend, “do chores”, and just relax. Plus Lucy get to socialize with other babies. She even has a music class! She is going to be a prodigy I just know it 🙂

Anyway, the main reason for this post is that today I am wearing the “mommy uniform” that I swore I would never wear. I used to work at a preschool, and I HATED it when moms would pick up their kids in yoga pants like they just worked out, and full make up and hair. Well, friends, I have learned that it is inevitable. Yoga pants are super comfy. And to dress it up, so I don’t look like I REALLY just worked out or rolled out of bed, I put make up on.
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Check me out in my yoga pants, sneakers, and Northface fleece 🙂 I love my glorified pajamas! Don’t worry, I didn’t actually sleep in THESE pants last night (never mind about the shirt underneath the fleece). I know I used to judge those moms, and I apologize. They knew what was up!

Mommy Wants Bourbon…Mommy Can’t Have Bourbon…Sad :(

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I like bourbon. I’m not really friends with people who don’t like bourbon. I drink it mixed with sodas, specifically ginger beer. I drink it with ice, whiskey stones, or neat. When looking at the drink menu at restaurants, you can bet I will order a bourbon cocktail. Well, I used to.

Being pregnant did a number on my body. I gained over 50 pounds. Granted, much of that was water weight because of my preeclampsia, but still. That’s a lot of poundage! Until recently, I’ve been telling myself that I will lose the weight. I didn’t really have a plan. I certainly wasn’t dieting. I ABHOR exercising. So I was really just waiting for a miracle. It never came. I went to my annual gyno appointment a few weeks ago, stepped on the scale and silently screamed and cried. Ugh.

I came home, and told my husband that it was time to make a change. We needed to start taking care of ourselves. We were going on a diet. The only diet I’ve ever really successfully done was the South Beach Diet. My parents did it when I was home from college one summer, and I finally lost that Freshman 15…or Sophomore 30…whatever. So that’s what we decided to do. If you aren’t familiar with the diet, its low carb. That means no booze. BOOO! Specifically, the cookbook says no…wait for it…WHISKEY. We are now into phase 2, so we can have the occasional glass of wine, but that is no substitute after a long day of poopie diapers. It doesn’t help that my husband, the day before we started our diet bought an ass ton of whiskey and it is sitting in our glass cabinet in our kitchen. Staring at me. Whispering, “You know you want some…just a little bit won’t kill you.”

Fortunately, I have had some success over the last 2.5 weeks. I’ve even been working out…gross. That is the only thing keeping me motivated. That, and an impending trip to the beach in July. So for now, no bourbon. No beer. No fancy cocktails. An occasional glass of wine will have to sustain me. If I had to wear a bathing suit now, I would feel very bad for the other beach dwellers. So this is really for them. A truly selfless act. But mark my words. As soon as I get to my goal weight, or as soon as I can wait no longer, I will be reopening that bottle of Bulleit and having my fill.