Mom Shaming

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about why I am a stay at home mom (see previous post). There are all these reasons floating around like daycare is horrible/for mom’s who don’t want to take care of their kids, it’s what I (as a woman) am supposed to do, yada yada yada. There are just as many reasons to NOT be a stay at home mom – less money, low self-esteem, divorce. It’s tiring hearing people explain their decisions.

The truth, for me at least, is that this is where I am supposed to be. Not because we can afford it. Not because my husband travels for work. Not because I am a woman. I am a stay at home mom because it is what is best for MY family.

That being said, as women, we cannot win this argument between being a working mom and a stay at home mom. If we decide to work, we are neglecting our kids. If we stay home, we aren’t living up to our potential or contributing to society. No matter what we decide, we will suffer the never-ending “mom-shaming”.

For some reason we are told that we need to do it all. We need to take of the children, our husbands, our homes. We need to work and bring home the proverbial bacon. We need to craft. We need to do volunteer work. We need to teach our kids. And we need to look good doing it. If we fail at one of these, we feel like we are failing at life. It is so easy to get wrapped up in any one of these things and look to them to find our identities. If we lose it, we lose our identities and we feel lost. Even if others aren’t “mom-shaming” us, we begin to shame ourselves.

The only way I’m able to get around this, is to remember that my identity is not in being a mom. It is not in being a teacher, or a wife, or even as a woman. My identity is in Christ. I have to remind myself of this daily because it is oh so easy to be blinded by everyday life. This truth takes away so many of these burdens! I want to challenge all the mommies out there reading this (and MYSELF) not to let those thoughts of self-doubt and shame creep in. And almost just as importantly, don’t let those feelings of doubt be directed at other mommies. Whatever type of moms we are, we are doing GREAT work!

Cheers!

 

 

What Not to Say to a SAHM

Before Lucy was born I was a teacher. I think that much of my identity was wrapped up in what and who I was teaching. Since having Lucy and deciding to stay home I’ve gone through a bit of an identity crisis (which I’ve heard is completely normal…at least I tell myself it is). I no longer had the typical 9-5 (or 7-6) job. I no longer dictated my own schedule. I couldn’t hang out with my friends the way I used to. I was lonely, tired, angry, bored, hormonal, borderline crazy. There were many times I wondered if I made the right decision to stay home…or even have a baby.

Over the last year, I have discovered a few questions/phrases/etc. that I HATE to hear.

1. What are you up to now? Oh you know…not much. Just raising a human.

2. You have plenty of time to ____________________. Yes. I have plenty of time to feed, change, feed, clothe, and entertain a 1 year old with an attention span of 20 seconds. Not to mention changing, feeding, clothing and entertaining a 29 year old husband with an attention span of just over 20 seconds 😉 On top of all of the “homemaking” crap I am expected to do (sweeping, mopping, meal planning, exercising, taking care of the dog, cooking, dishes, vacuuming, crafting, making baby food…I’m sure I’m missing something because I’m not so good at this part).

3. So what did you do all day? No comment.

4. Oh, you’re not wearing yoga pants today. Oh…you’re being an ass-hat today.*

5. When do you think you will go back to work? When I friggin’ feel like it…ass-hat.*

I’m sure there are more…but my “mommy brain” can’t think of them. You know, since I haven’t been stimulating my brain for the last year. *

*Apologies for the snarkiness #sorrynotsorry

Baby Food Day!

Last week, I got some Little Green Pouches and so far I am loving them. I had a bit of purée in the freezer so we tried them out over the weekend, and they were successful! As a result, I’ve wanted to make a few more puree so I can use these when I go out to eat, when Lucy goes to school, etc. But I’ve also been wanting to get a little more creative with my baby food.

Lucy’s daily diet pretty much consists of turkey/chicken, berries, steamed carrots, and cheese. Sometimes I mix up the fruits/veggies, throw in an avocado, or add yogurt to her fruit. She is mostly self feeding, but she can’t eat a lot of healthy veggies because they are still too crunchy. I’ve wanted to introduce a few more things, so today was the day!

Who made that huge mess in the kitchen?!?

I made 3 types of food already, and in the process of making 1 more (the most adventurous one). Here is what we have so far:

Bananas & Spinach:

• 3 bananas
• about half a bag of raw spinach
• juice of 1 lemon
• splash of water

Add ingredients to blender and purée. Easy peasy. Tastes just like bananas and the texture is really smooth and creamy.

Spinach & Bananas ready for freezing

Mixed Fruit & Kale:

• 1 bag frozen mixed fruit – thawed with juice
• 1 cup of raw kale leaves – do not use the stalks or your blender will hate you.

Add ingredients to blender and purée. It takes a bit of time to purée the kale. Tastes a little green, but still sweet and fruity. I might add bananas next time to make it a little smoother.

Mixed Fruit & Yogurt:

• 1 bag frozen mixed fruit – thawed with juice
• about 1 cup non-fat Greek yogurt

Add ingredients to blender and puree. Its a baby smoothy…that I may drink some of!

Left – Mixed Fruit & Kale
Right – Mixed Fruit & Yogurt

Here is my adventurous recipe that I will be trying. I found it on Weelicious and it looks pretty good. I will eat it if Lucy doesn’t.

Sweet Potato Coconut Puree

• 2 medium yams, washed
• 1/3 cup coconut milk (full fat or light)
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon (I might leave this out for now)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Poke several holes in the sweet potatoes with a fork. Bake for an hour (I put them on a piece of tin foil so they don’t drip all over the oven). When sweet potatoes are cool to the touch peel off the skin and scoop insides into a food processor with remaining ingredients. Puree until smooth. Cool and serve.

I have the sweet potatoes in the oven now. I will let you know how it turns out!

Now I just have to wait for Eric to get home and clean up my mess in the kitchen 🙂

I’ve learned a few things over the past few weeks:

1. Pierced-belly-button-scar-from-college post pregnancy = gross

2. Pierced-belly-button-scar-from-college post pregnancy AND squeezed in to pre-pregnancy jeans = REALLY gross

3. Lucy’s tummy doesn’t like eggs.

4. I can only wear my grey skinny pants for so long. As a result, I unbuttoned them while at the Braves game last night. (no one noticed, so that makes it OK)

 

Another “Mommy Blog”? Ugh…

There are a LOT of “mommy” blogs out there. There are a lot of blogs saying, “Look how cute my kid is” and “Look how crafty I am” and “Look how well I raise my child” filling up the internet. I can’t be the only mother out there thinking that’s all a lot of bull! Yes, I do think my kid is the cutest kid of all the kids. Yes, I can do a nifty craft now and then. Yes, I do feel like I am doing a good job raising my child, BUT there is another side to being a stay at home mom.

I will NEVER be the mom with the spotless home. I will NEVER be the mom who does all the Pinterest crafts. I will NEVER be the mom with the baby in the cute DIY outfits. It just isn’t going to happen, and that’s OK. In fact, I’m probably going to have a pretty messy home, and have half-finished crafts that I thought were a great idea when I started, and my baby might be covered in spit-up and God knows what else a lot of the time. SO WHAT! Does that make me a bad mom? Nope. Do I care that I’m not as productive, or as hip, or as creative as some of these other moms writing their own blogs? Sometimes. So I thought I would change things up. This isn’t going to be a blog about how great of a mom, crafter, or homemaker I am. This is going to be a blog about how messy, boring, and unpredictable being a stay at home mom can be. Hopefully this can help other mommies out there commiserate, because honestly, this is hard work.

So here is a little about me. My name is Meagan. I am 28. I have been married to my husband Eric for almost 6 years. I have an 8 month old named Lucy and a 5 year old dog named Marty. Up until last June, I was working as an elementary Special Education teacher. I decided to stay home once I had Lucy because Eric traveled so much for work. I had all of these plans to do projects, bake more, clean more…blah blah blah. Then Lucy was born in July.

Did I do any of that? Yeah right! For the last 8 months I have been hanging by a thread. I have better, more productive days, but generally speaking, all of my energy goes to that big cheeked, blue eyed baby. I spend many days in yoga pants (a.k.a. Pajamas) and I sometimes do chores. Its like Lucy is robbing me of my energy and storing it in her chubby chipmunk cheeks. I’ve had to deal with breastfeeding issues, my husband falling down the stairs carrying the baby, postpartum depression, teething, traveling for the holidays, illness, constipation (Lucy, not me…), and a traveling husband. All on top of keeping this little “bundle of joy” alive. I’ve seriously thought about making a run for it multiple times. I’ve literally thrown temper tantrums where I kicked the wall and hurt my foot. I’ve had days where I did absolutely nothing other than pray that Lucy would take a nap. I have never seen a post on Pinterest about the best way to get pureed sweet potato off of the wall (luckily a wet towel works just fine). I hope this blog can be a place where I can give you an honest picture of what being a stay at home mom is like.